Elliot

So last night Cal’s phone payment came out. That was $90 I had forgotten about. Fortunately we had the money that kind soul donated for the car insurance, but that drops the amount we have to offset the additional payments to $100.

And I still haven’t gotten my debit card from the state. I feel sick. Hopefully I get that today.

I’ve come up with a plan to repair the files damaged in the bug on 4tw. I’ve got a repair project, and a repair log file where I’m listing the files that I’ve rewritten the ending. I’ll do one per day, and then write normally for the rest of my writing. Hopefully this gets me out of this rut I’m in.

So Cal has, I think he said, 54 hours last week, and we’re starting this week with 2 hours of overtime. All because this organization does absolutely no maintenance on their heat/cool systems between seasons. That has to be it, because this happens EVERY TIME the weather changes. I’m not complaining much, as we desperately need the money, but I’d like for Cal to be able to not spend his weekend working once in a while.

In other, work related news, when Orlando laid me off, he told me to hold onto the computer equipment in case he decides to hire me as a contract worker sometime down the line. That was 2 years ago, and communication from him has been minimal. I texted him asking if I can just buy the equipment off him. No answer, and I’m wondering when I can consider this stuff abandoned. I’ll probably give it a week and then ask Dad about using Linux to crack the admin password because I’m tired of it taking up space when I have plenty of things I can use it for.

Cal didn’t want to take me to my 2 week followup, which is fine, except he said he would. And then pulled it back to, “Have Dad drop you off and I’ll pick you up.” To “Have Dad take you so you can go grocery shopping today.”

This would be disappointing enough. However, he told me later (like, 20 minutes ago) that he pulled up to his boss with, “Sorry, can’t do OT, I have to take [Joshua] to a doctor’s appointment.” And, like…? Am I being too terribly unreasonable for not wanting him to do that? Show up for me or stop using me as a get out of work free card. I don’t exist for your convenience! I only seem to exist to this guy when it’s convenient for him!

Anyway… I apparently have a unicorn diagnosis! The adenomyosis wasn’t a surprise to me (which leads me to question why it was a surprise to my surgeons, but I digress) but adenomyomas was, and my surgeons had never seen a case of it before in the wild. Educational for us all!

The surgeon who I saw today seemed very relieved that the pathology report was 100% benign, which… I already knew logically because I’m not dead yet? It’s been damn near 2 years since the problem was noticed. If there had been cancer, it would’ve killed me by now, I imagine. But her reaction to it kind of makes me wonder if they were spooked by the adenomyomas and didn’t immediately know what they were. 

Okay. It’s 4 PM. Let’s go see how much writing I can get done before I give up.

 

Every time I start moving around, I get incredible nauseous. I’ve got a boost soothe next to me but I feel too nauseous even for that.

But I’m gonna drink it, because I don’t like being nauseous.

I got virtually nothing done yesterday. I was depressed and feeling sorry for myself, really, with our financial situation being what it is. My insurance company pulled a foul one on us. For those of you who weren’t around, one of our vehicles gave up the ghost in March. It was expected, and we were trying to save for a new one, but we hadn’t quite gotten to the point where we could even save yet. A semi-wealthy friend loaned us the money for a down payment on a new one, and we put it on the insurance immediately. Of course we did. Can’t drive in NJ without insurance.

Except we weren’t BILLED for it. So I called them in April like, what what what. And they assured me it would be on the next bill.

Except we weren’t billed for it in May. I called them like, what what what. And I was promised that it did in fact include the new vehicle. 

I argued. The bill was $128. There’s no fucking WAY two vehicles and life insurance was less than $130. Nope nope nope. I was wrong, it was on the bill.

Okay. Fine. It wasn’t on June’s bill, either. 

Yesterday I got an email from my agent like, ”Hey, it wasn’t on April May or June, so we’re adding a bit to July August September to make it up.”

MOTHERFUCKER, THE PAYMENT IS NOW GOING TO BE $450. I am PISSED. I’m on fucking disability, which pays 80% of my base pay! It would’ve been hard to make that payment when I was working, it’s impossible right now! 

Fortunately someone saw my plea for help on Tumblr and sent me $200, which doesn’t cover everything but gets us through July and helps with August. But I don’t understand why it’s so hard to get an insurance company that doesn’t act like this. We used to have Progressive and it took almost TEN CALLS to fix, “Hey, you have me down as a licensed driver and I’m not, I have a learner’s permit.” I don’t know. Is this just what to expect now? I get mistakes happen, but ten calls? Blatantly refusing to do any research on my issue to see that yeah, I’m being undercharged? Isn’t that their job? 

Anyway, yeah. That was in the evening, so I can’t blame my low mood on that. But I’m going to try to actually get some stuff accomplished today.
 

I went with Cal to grocery shop this morning. I won’t call it a mistake, but I’m feeling it now. Almost 2000 steps where for the last week and a half, I’ve gotten MAYBE 500 a day.

I’m hoping that I’ll be okay enough to go for 2-5 minute walks every day this coming week. We’re still under an extreme heat warning, but 5 minutes should be too dangerous.

My hands hurt terribly for some reason, which is weird, because I haven’t really been using them as much as I usually do. Have I? In any event, maybe today will be a reading day. I’m working on To Shape A Dragon’s Breath by Moniquill Blackgoose. It’s good so far, but I’m reading it slowly, because the chapters are short and I’ve been stopping after a chapter. 

Oh, I also managed a shower last night. I just washed my hair and got out, as I’m not comfortable getting soap on the incisions yet. Still, it was nice to rinse off, at least. I’m going to be doing that every day, hopefully, and next week soaping up. 

I’m gonna go… well… write. I still want to get my words down for the day, pain be damned. 

I was in bed by 8:30 last night. I’ve just been so tired, and in a LOT of pain. I don’t understand why it’s getting worse and not better. 

I also realized my glasses were across the room the moment after I got comfortable. I’m hoping to hold out until Dad gets up and can bring them to me. I might not be able to do that, though. Not because I need my glasses, but if I need to get up for anything. 

So I was copying a book into digital format. It’s out of print and not anywhere in ebook format, and my copy is in tatters. And I can’t read physical books anymore, holding them hurts my hands. So I figured, turning it into an ebook for my own use is fair. I’m not sharing it, and I’m not selling it or claiming it as mine. 

Well. I lost it. I really didn’t want to buy another copy of the damned thing (This is the… 5th or 6th copy I’ve lost) but I was so close to finishing it. Le sigh.

I’m gonna go do my writing and then play some video games. 

I don’t know what I did, but that lower-right abdominal pain was killing me last night. Not bleeding, so I’m not going to even bother calling. Just
gonna take my pain meds and let it be what it will be. I feel sick to my stomach, too, so I might just go back to sleep for a while. My heart rate got up to 130 while getting dressed. It’s calmed down to 107, but that’s still too high for just siting in bed. 

I need to tinker with my discord server a bit once I’m up, though.

Rune Factory 3 is fun. Play Asia is supposed to release Rune Factory 6 tomorrow… well, the limited edition version. And then who knows when I’ll get it. I might start a FF4 playthrough. Feeling thirsty.